By Kathleen Furey May 9, When it comes to dating, honesty and communication are considered the two biggest tools in creating and maintaining a successful relationship. So why is it that when the relationship doesn't necessarily appear to be headed down the aisle, and instead just toward the bedroom, people freak out? More specifically, why do guys get put in such a tight spot?
So what's a good way of telling someone, "I'm not looking for anything serious, just a sexual relationship," without being offensive?
The answer is simple: It's all in the presentation. With the right wording, the right tslk and the right mental state, you can get what you want without giving the wrong impression.
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Here are a few ways to get to the point without resorting to elaborate Barney Stinson-esque trickery: Let go of the fear of "no. Getting taken on dates may give a girl the wrong impression, when in reality, the guy was just afraid that if he said, "Uh, hey, can I just get a blowie and play with your breasts and not call again? Who wants to get shot down? But the reality is, there are going to be people who aren't going to be down for what you're offering.
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Watch your words and delivery. Honesty is indeed the best policy, but there is such a thing as being too honest.
I've known guys who have just gotten out of relationships, meet a girl they think is pretty and then realize they're not in the best place to commit to a full relationship. The pretty girl, seeing that the guy is shy, takes initiative and asks him to dinner. The guys' response is usually along the lines of, "I just broke up with someone, so I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
But I'll hook up with you.
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Were my guy friends honest? However, they were too honest.
They basically said, hooi still hurting over my ex, but you're hot, so I'll totally do you, as my physical needs aren't being met on the regular anymore. Go easy on your delivery. Throwing in something like, "But I'll hook up with you," makes it seem like you're doing her a favor.
Saying something along the lines of, "I just got out of a relationship; I'm just looking for something casual right now," is tzlk. She'll get the idea -- trust me. You'll be glad you did.
Looking for the impossible So I feel like I'm looking for the lochness monster or something. Maybe a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow Look for a decent guy. Not a jerk.
Not a liar or a cheater.